A bar or bat mitzvah is an important rite of passage that requires careful planning. Organizing the details of your child’s special day shouldn’t be a last-minute task — in fact, many families begin to think about planning their child’s mitzvah ceremony and celebration during their early pre-teen years.

If your family will be hosting its first mitzvah in the next several years, here's a helpful guide to follow for your mitzvah planning timeline.

3 years before    

Many synagogues and temples assign mitzvah dates about three years in advance. This allows time for children to complete formal mitzvah lessons before their ceremony.

Once you've received your child’s mitzvah date from your synagogue or temple, you can start researching vendors you may want to use and inquire about rates and availability. 

12 to 18 months before    

Talk with your child about the type of celebration they want and what they’d like their mitzvah theme to be. Start drafting a guest list so you know how many people to account for when you start booking vendors. 

Once you have a guest list and theme, decide on your mitzvah budget so you can start narrowing down the vendors in your price range. Contact venues, entertainment companies, photographers, videographers, florists, and any other mitzvah planning vendors you want for the day and make your final decisions at least one year in advance.

1 year before   

A year before the event, all the vendors should be locked in. Once they're settled send out save the date cards and book a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests, if applicable.

Your child should begin their mitzvah lessons at this time. Have a conversation with them about what the rite of passage means to them, their Torah portion, and its meaning. You and your child should also discuss their community service or mitzvah project and begin to plan it out.

6 to 8 months before

At this point, your child should be learning their Torah portion and make times to meet with the rabbi and cantor. On the celebration planning side, collect the current addresses of everyone on your guest list so you can order and mail out formal invitations. This is also a good time to shop for centerpieces, customized swag, and party favors so there's plenty of time for them to arrive. 

3 months before   

Shop with your family for everyone’s outfits for the big day so there's plenty of time for tailoring and alterations. Finalize the menu, centerpieces, and decorations for the celebration. 

1 to 2 months before    

Connect with all your mitzvah vendors to make sure they have all the details for your child’s celebration and a clear schedule for the event. Work with the venue to create a seating chart for guests and coordinate a rehearsal with your synagogue. 

1 week before    

One week before the event, confirm the final guest count with your venue and/or caterer. Update your entertainment team, photography/videography team, and other vendors on any last-minute changes, if applicable. Make your final payments to your vendors if you haven’t already, and prepare cash tips to distribute day-of. 

The day before

On the day before your child’s mitzvah, review all the details of the celebration and ensure your child and family are prepared for the ceremony. Then, it’s time to take a deep breath, get a good night’s sleep, and look forward to this important milestone in your child’s life.

Let Xtreme Event Group help with your mitzvah planning needs

If you're planning a mitzvah, we can help make your child’s day even more special. Contact our mitzvah planning experts today.

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